Audacity

This weekend, I finished my volunteer training for Heritage Square Museum (don't judge by the bad website--it's being redone). After five weeks of lessons on Los Angeles history, vintage fashion, museum history and tour guide best practices, I am now ready to begin volunteering!

So what now?

Well, I didn't know. Having run volunteer trainings in the past, I understand that the hard thing about managing volunteers can be channeling their excitement and motivation into your organization's needs. And I kind of felt that the "what do I do next" part of the HSM training was a bit lacking. There was a "hey, if you want to be a guide, talk to one of the speakers" explanation, but most of the speakers were busy talking amongst themselves after the training. There wasn't a "sign-up for this activity" or "here's a list of available mentors" moment that could have really harnessed the volunteer energy at its max. I realized that I could have just left that morning with my graduation certificate and maybe never have the opportunity to get involved again.

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This experience of my own hesitation and lack of desire to "put myself out there" has had me thinking about audacity. I feel like I've lost it--that willingness to get out of my comfort zone and try new things and meet new people. I used to be loud and brash and outgoing , but I feel like, as I've gotten older, I've become more hesitant and closed off.

I can see how it would be so easy to pull back completely, and only focus on my family, my job, and the friends I currently have. It really would be easy and comfortable. But it would be limiting. Friends move, and family members get busy with their own lives, and jobs don't always last. If I don't want to be ultimately left alone, I need to push myself. I need to fight against that little voice inside that says, "Hang back. Don't interrupt. Be cautious." I need to be a little audacious.

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My instinct was to gather my things and walk quietly to my car, but I steeled myself to put myself out there. I've given up too many Saturday mornings to this training to stop now. So I inserted myself into a conversation with the communications/development director and passed my my card, letting him know I'm ready to help. And then I again forced my way into a conversation with the museum director to find out exactly who I could contact for the next volunteer opportunity. It was hard. But it worked.

So my first actual volunteer activity will be as a dresser for HSM's Vintage Fashion Show (pdf link) on March 20, at 11 a.m. I'll be helping the models in and out of the layers of vintage clothing (no zippers!). I won't have any of my historic costumes ready, but I think I'll break out my 1940's black crepe dress and one of my grandmother's vintage hats to wear for the occasion. I will be backstage, but just by being there, I will be audacious.

40x40

Today, I am 33 years, 9 months and 12 days old. Not exactly a milestone age, but I feel like I am at a key time in my life. I am happy and settled in my personal relationships, comfortable in my roles as wife and mother. I am intellectually challenged at my job, and yet remarkably at ease. And even my financial situation is looking up, at least from where we had been the last eight months, as Richard has a new job.

And so, I feel like it's a good time to start thinking about what I want for the next stage of my life. It's time to start thinking about what I want to be when I grow up, or at least when I grow older.

Today, I am starting a new project: 40x40. An ongoing list of the 40 top things I want to have done by the time I turn 40. Some of the things on the list will be big, some will be little. But it's time I started taking control of the course of my life.

Drumroll, please...

Top 40 Things I'd Like to Do by the Time I'm 40

1. Have the 9-course tasting meal at the French Laundry. It’s $240 per person and takes a year or so to get a reservation, but I think well worth the money and the wait.
2. Dye my hair bright pink. I had promised myself I would do it when on maternity leave with Vivian, but somehow I never got around to it.
3. Learn to play a musical instrument.
   

I've already started making progress on #3. Richard has a plethora of musical instruments lying around the house, some of which he plays regularly, but many he doesn't. The acoustic guitar and bass are used often, but he also has an electric guitar, keyboard, mandolin and steel guitar. Rich has tried to teach me guitar and bass before, but I could never get comfortable with the instruments. They felt big and bulky and I couldn't wrap my hands easily around the necks.

This time, I've decided to learn to play the mandolin. I've only been working on this for a few days, but I'm really enjoying it so far. The scale of the instrument feels more natural. Right now, I'm just trying to get comfortable with plucking and strumming, working on scales and one song. Richard found the mandolin tabs for "Will the Circle Be Unbroken," which is a very simple song. It also helps that it's a song I know and actually like (I'm more eager to practice it than say, Three Blind Mice).

By the way, it's amazing how many free resources there are online to learn how to play a musical instrument! YouTube has lots of tutorials on how to play the mandolin. Rich is getting me started with the basics, and then I can go to the internet for more specific steps. If I really decide to stick with it, I'll then see about getting actual lessons.

I've only listed my first three, but will update with more of the 40 goals in the future. I'm going to try to document my progress on these 40 goals here on the blog. It's time to take charge of what is happening in my life!

Is there anything you've wanted to do, but haven't? Isn't it time to start?