the good, the bad, and the surprising: a baby update

As of yesterday, we are at 34 weeks. We had an ultrasound yesterday, and unfortunately, there aren't any good photos because she's too big (and she's a bit antisocial and just wants to bury her face in the back of my uterus). So, here it is:

The Good
Vivian continues to grow at a record pace. According to BabyCenter.com, the average 34-weeker weighs in at 4 lbs., 12 oz. Vivian is (drum roll please) 6 lbs., 7 oz.! Her measurements continue to be in the 98th and 99th percentiles (except for the legs, which are now in the 65th-70th percentile -- which is still better than the 58th that they were in 6 weeks ago). Now, weight estimates based on ultrasound can be off by quite a bit, 1/2 lb to 1 lb, but even if the estimate is off by a pound, she's still much larger than average. As people keep telling me, big babies are good, as they are more likely to sleep well (hurrah!).

The Bad
Vivian's kidneys are still not cooperating. They aren't getting better, but at least they aren't getting worse. We've been referred to a pediatric urologist, so we'll know more once we meet with him. The worst case scenario is that if the reflux issue does not improve, she'll have to have surgery when she's about a year old. But I'm not going there yet. It's still very much a wait and see issue.

The Surprising
Once we confirmed with my doctors that we would be having a repeat c-section, we were told to expect to be scheduled around 39 weeks, 1 day, or August 2. At our appointments this week, however, both our OB and our perinatologist told us that we would instead be scheduled around 37 weeks, or sometime around July 18! I know it's only a 2-week difference, but it feels like a huge shift.

Basically, the reasons we were given are that, 1) I've had a classical c-section (vertical incision) and they don't want me to go into labor (due to a chance of uterine rupture, which really, I'd like to avoid if possible, as it sounds bad), and 2) with a history of preeclampsia, if Vivian is ready to come out, why take the chance of prolonging the pregnancy and possibly developing pre-e again? (even though I have no signs or symptoms at this point). So, it looks like we'll schedule our delivery (and that's the hard part, because the maternity ward is very busy) and then schedule an amnio the day before to check her lung maturity. If all is well, we'll move forward.

So, Rich & I are basically trying not to freak out, and just calmly getting things ready. Easier said than done. Ack!

Shower photos

My baby shower on June 9 was awesome. Yes, I know it's now the 26th, and these photos are a tad late, but hey, better late than never, right? (All photos are stolen from other people's Flickr streams, because I was to busy opening gifts to take photos!) These are two of the dresses my little sister Teresa made for Vivian. They are full-on princess dresses, with a crinoline underneath and everything. Look at this fabulous USC hat, knit by Mel. The interlocking SC are perfect!Here are Carrie & Christa, who drove down with Elizabeth all the way from the Bay Area that morning just to celebrate the Baby Vi (and drink a few Bud Lites).

And here is the beautiful pumpkin-themed blanket that Catherine crocheted for Vivian. I love it, even if Catherine had to lie to me that she didn't know how to crochet... This is the beautiful felted diaper bag made by my sister Jenny. It's gorgeous, and even lined with a waterproof (pee-proof) liner! This is the most awesome mobile ever -- an Awesome Helicopter Ninja mobile, complete with hanging ninja stars, helicopters and glittery kickballs. Made by Kelley & Michael. Here's Baby Mark, passed out after a few too many... sucks of milk. And here is Vivian's very own Hobbes, crocheted with loving care by Jenny. What kid doesn't need a Hobbes?

And, yes, an oh so flattering photo of me and my belly (which has the Baby Vi inside, so I guess it's beautiful).

All of our friends have been so generous and wonderful. I can't list everyone and all their gifts, but please know that they are are very much appreciated.

dream a little dream while dreaming

Last night, I dreamed some weird dreams. The best one was so realistic, it was hard to believe it was a dream. I heard Vivian crying from her co-sleeper, so I picked her up and realized she must be hungry. I took her out to the living room, and sat down on the couch and started breastfeeding. I realized she was sucking, but not swallowing, so I took her off, and she spit up all over herself. She started laughing, like this was the funniest thing in the world, and that made me laugh, too. It just felt awesome. And then I woke up, and told Richard about my dream. He said I must have been dreaming about Vivian eating because we had been talking about breastfeeding.

And then I really woke up.

I dreamed a dream within a dream. And it was wonderful.

I never thought I'd write this...

but I am ready for this pregnancy to be over (and to have a happy, healthy Baby V besides me). After losing Eliza, I'd feel so conflicted when I heard pregnant women say that, because I knew how badly a pregnancy can end. But this time around, I'm just dealing with the normal discomforts of being almost 33 weeks pregnant, and I have to admit that I'm ready for this normal, healthy pregnancy to be completed, and for our new lives as parents of a newborn to begin.

I know she's not really ready, and Lord knows that I don't want V to have any NICU time, so I will wait. But I really miss being physically comfortable. I realized this morning that one reason I wake up in the middle of the night is that between having to sleep on my side, using a body pillow between my knees and a wedge maternity pillow under the belly and behind my back, all of my weight gets focused on my hip, which ends up hurting after 3-4 hours. So I wake up and, with great difficulty, roll over.

I had to ask Richard to rub lotion on my feet last night because they were really dry, but it's hard for me to reach them comfortably. I am still making the effort to shave my legs, but we'll see how long that lasts, as it isn't exactly easy.

And I'm tired. So tired. Not that that's going to change with a newborn, I know, but still. On Thursday, I was so exhausted that I had to close my office door and take a 1/2 hour nap on the floor.

I think I'm just getting impatient. I feel like I've been pregnant for the last 2 years, and now we're only a little more than 6 weeks away from welcoming Vivian into the world. It's been a long, tough road, and the end (of this particular leg) is in sight. We're almost there, and I just can't wait.

A return to yarn...

Since I became pregnant with Baby Vi, I haven't been particularly motivated by yarn. I know, blasphemy! But, I just... wasn't. I had lost my crafty mojo. I found it again when I started work on the Pumpkin Quilt, which is still in progress (and I actually think I have a good chance of finishing it before she gets here). But the knitting/crocheting was still neglected. With the exception of a crocheted baby sweater and an adorable knitted baby halter top, I just hadn't had the bug.

Until yesterday.

After SnB, I decided to head over to Barnes & Noble. I had just been paid, and I decided to check out the magazine rack and a few new books that I knew were coming out. I picked up the new issue of Interweave Knits, more to keep my collection complete than because I actually want to knit anything from the issue. But then I saw it -- Stefanie Japel's Fitted Knits. This book is awesome. I've loved her patterns on Knitty and I knew, once I saw all the patterns, that I had to have this book.

So when I got home, I had to start something. I couldn't resist. And after digging through my stash, I decided to tackle the Carie Cropped Cardigan (also seen on an episode of Knitty Gritty and called The Better Sweater -- pattern available here).

The Better Sweater, as seen on Knitty Gritty

Rather than use Cascade Magnum, I decided to combine yarns to get the right weight. I'm using Debbie Bliss Merino Chunky in chocolate brown, Karabella Marguerite in a mustardy brown and a random orange GGH merino that I got at the Yarn Lady sale last year. I also had to size up to size 17 needles to get the right gauge (I knit very tightly since I knit combination style; the pattern recommends size 13s). I stayed up until almost 1 a.m. working on it. I'm actually really excited to have a knit project for myself. Hopefully, this is the return of my yarn passion. Pictures to come.