Baby fever

Why is it so easy for us to get fixated on one thing? For me, it's baby fever. When I first got it, back in the fall of 2005, it hit hard and sudden. I had previously been of the opinion that babies were nice, and I'd like to have one some day, but I wasn't in any hurry. And then, wham! I had to have a baby (no, not George Michael).

Now, I find myself pregnant again, for the second time in a year, still with no baby to hold. But that fever hasn't gone down. Sometimes, it feels like I should be able to just pick up where my last pregnancy ended, but I know that can't happen. Pumpkin is a new baby, and needs a full 9 months to grow on his/her own. I have to fight the jealousy I have when I see moms with their babies -- it's not that I begrudge them their babies, I just want my babies. One will never be here and one can't be here yet. And I have to learn to accept that. I try, day by day, but it's a constant struggle.

But on a good note, we got to see Pumpkin last week during an ultrasound. He/she was very active, bouncing from one side of my uterus to the other. I have a feeling that Pumpkin is going to be keeping me up with kicks and jabs once I can feel her. I can't wait.