Rant

Whatever happened to those blissfully happy women who just love being pregnant? I've met some of them, and I used to hope that I would be one of them. Now, I think they are the spawn of Satan, sent here to make us normal, crabby pregnant women feel guilty and self-loathing.

It doesn't help that things here at Nonprofits 'R Us are less than fun. And I'm not sleeping well, because I can't get comfortable (hip, back & shoulder pain make sleeping a chore, especially when sleeping on your back isn't a comfortable option due to baby compressing your lungs and spine). My feet are beginning to swell, which somewhat limits my shoe choices. And truth be told, I'm getting a bit bored of the pregnant talk, but at the same time, I can't think of anything else.

I'm happy to be going on vacation at the end of next week. One whole week in Lake Tahoe, which is positively my favorite place on earth. Beach, trees, water and friends. Maybe I'm just in a rut, and need a change of pace.

I will admit that it's hard, not having any family around to help with the planning of the big and little stuff. It's ok in that Rich & I aren't told what we should do and what we shouldn't do, but at the same time, if we don't do it, no one else will. And that makes even the littlest thing seem overwhelming.

At the same time, I feel like I shouldn't be complaining, because so many people are raising families with less support than I have. My friend Lynn is raising 2 little boys on a whole different continent than her family. Allison S. is also pregnant, and is the opposite side of the country from her family, and she's running her own business while combating nausea. I feel like I don't deserve to wallow in self-pity, not when I've got a great husband, wonderful friends, and family that love me (even if they aren't in the immediate area, which is my fault anyway, since I'm the one that decided to stay in LA instead of moving back to the Bay Area). And then I feel dumb for feeling guilty, since for god's sake, I'M PREGNANT! I'm hormonal and I can't control every single emotion that I have.

You see, people, this is what I was saving you from. The crazy rants and mood swings of this emotionally disturbed pregnant woman. But you asked for it.

Just so this isn't a completely wasted post, here's a baby update: Your baby is more than 11 inches long and weighs just over a pound. Her skin is red and wrinkled. Blood vessels in her lungs are developing to prepare him for breathing. She can swallow, but she normally won't pass her first stool (called meconium) until after birth. Loud noises heard often in utero — such as your dog barking or the roar of a vacuum cleaner — probably won't faze your baby when she hears them outside the womb.