Sunday, April 02, 2006

Beliefs

Wow, Figgy is real. Not that he/she wasn't before, but he (i'm using the he just because it's easier, not because I know anything regarding gender) is so much more real now. I've seen him. During the ultrasound, mostly he was sleepy. The technician keep poking my belly, trying to get him to move, but mostly he just wanted to sleep (so basically, Figgy has the same grumpy personality of my cat, Deano). But I actually got to see him suck his thumb! I saw his little fingers and everything. No pictures, as apparently Cedars uses a "filmless" system, which is useless for scrapbooks and grandmothers, but I got to see him.

I will say that this pregnancy has made me consider some tough issues. As of Saturday, I just finished my 12th week, which is nearing the end of my 1st trimester (which officially ends after the 13th/14th week - depending on which book you read). And it just makes me think. I am adamantly pro-choice. I have been ever since I was old enough to have an opinion about the matter. And more than 90 percent of abortions take place by the 14th week in pregnancy. And I support that. It's just a strange place to be in. Given my moments of pukeyness, I have a hard time understanding how women can claim to not know that they were pregnant until they gave birth. But I guess that's the power of the mind: if you really don't want to accept something, your mind can convince you of anything.

It's also weird, having seen the ultrasound, and seeing Figgy, with his fingers and toes, and yet knowing that, if I wanted, I could still have an abortion. For anyone who is concerned, I don't, but that's the power of choice. But it's still weird. Do I reconcile the baby that I want, with the fetuses that other women do not? My ultimate conclusion is that Figgy, and other fetuses, are beings, but their rights do not trounce those of the women who are carrying them. I know that babies cost a lot: emotionally and financially. And only people who really want one should have one. So I guess that's how I reconcile my beliefs with the little (now the size of a lime) being inside of me.

4 comments:

mel said...

This is so exciting! I love hearing all about little Figgy growing up and developing little fingers and toes and all the other bits he'll need when he comes out to play. Thanks so much for sharing this!

Grant said...

Well thought, well written. I realize my input into the issue is largely academic (Very little chance of a bun in this oven), but for what it's worth, I think you have the right of it.

Oh, and despite the size change I'm still calling the fetus Figgy. Limey may be acceptable in the future.

Catherine_G said...

You know you and I are on the same page when it comes to matters of choice, and I completely agree.

And, I am SO still calling the kid Figgy, although Limey is a catchy name as well.

Keep us posted - we all love you and Richard and are so excited!

Anonymous said...

Seriously, I had this very conversation with my cousin Jeanna yesterday, about being pro choice but now struggling with the concept of abortion...for us, as women in their mid 30s of childbearing age. I agree with you: how on EARTH can women claim to not know they're pregnant?? Ugh!!

I'll post anonymously for now, but I know you know who this is :)