Friday, July 15, 2005

can't sleep. clowns will eat me.

I think I need a good long sleep. I'm starting to feel this depression (about money, job, etc.) creep into my head like it seems to do every 3 or 4 months and I think I need a good sleep to wake up with some positive feelings.

I've been staying up way too late. Normally, I'm in bed by 12:30 (late, I know) and I wake up around 8 a.m. to get to work by 9 a.m. This week, I've been staying up until 1:30 - 2:00 a.m. every night, even when I know I need sleep. Wednesday was the worst. I stayed up until almost 2 a.m., went to bed and couldn't fall asleep until almost 4 a.m. Rich had to have a sleep observation study that night (possible sleep apnea) at Cedars, so he was gone, but he came home at about 5:45 a.m. He had to call and wake me up to get in because I had locked the deadbolt and for some reason, he doesn't have a key to the deadbolt (never mind that we've lived in this apartment for 8 years). I fell back asleep and woke up around 8:30.

Whenever I get stressed or depressed, I get insomnia. It's the worst thing in the world, especially after a few days. I explain it to people that it's like my brain is having a conversation with itself and it won't shut up, even when I want it to. I think about knitting patterns, work, puzzles, just about anything that you don't want to be thinking about at 3 a.m.

But this lack of sleep has contributed to a lot of crocheting. Last night I finished the Pretty Princess sweater. I have pictures, but I haven't downloaded them yet. It turned out even cuter than I had hoped for. The body is a hot pink cotton, and the blanket stitch edge is a bright green. The blanket stitch has an interesting story because I had finished the stitch all around the edges and the cuffs before I realized I was using the wrong yarn. It was 1 a.m. on Wednesday night and I couldn't figure out why the green yarn looked so yellow. Well, I was accidentally using the yarn for the Japanese sunburst tank, which is a greenish gold (think 70's Harvest Gold). It looked awful against the pink. So I had to cut it out and redo it. Hence the staying up until 2:00 a.m. Last night I added crocheted ties to the front and a white crochet flower to the lapel. I promise pictures on Monday.

And, because I'm psycho, I started another baby sweater last night. At least little Miss Margaret Allison is giving me a reason to go through my stash. And she's giving me something to do while I'm not sleeping.

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