Birthday Roundup

I am happy to report that Vivian thoroughly enjoyed her birthday activities. On Sunday, we took her to Griffith Park to ride the train. When the train pulled into the station, she got so excited, I thought she would burst!



After the train ride, we took her over to the ponies. I wasn't sure she was big enough, but there were plenty of kids smaller, so we couldn't refuse her. She was in heaven.



There was a larger pony track where the ponies walk around untethered, and Viv was so excited that, once again, we couldn't say no.

She looks so big, I almost cried. Well, then she DID cry when the ride was over. A lot. Cried.

At least until we bought her a pinwheel. Simple tastes.

On Monday, her actual birthday, we gave her two of her presents (her big present is saved until her party this Sunday). The first was a toddler-sized broom, which she promptly used to sweep up the living room (not really, but wouldn't that be awesome?). The second, was Dino.

I made Dino for Viv and am happy to say that she loves him. She takes him to bed every night and is intrigued by his nose and belly button. I'm so happy that she actually likes something I made for her -- it's kind of a rare feeling!

We're leaving for Lake Tahoe tomorrow morning and will be up there for nine days. I can't wait to smell the pine trees and relax on a beach.

Happy Fourth of July!

Birthday Girl

The most incredible girl in the world is turning 2 today! I can't believe it's been two years since she made her entrance into the world (6 weeks early). It has been such an amazing time and I feel so incredibly blessed to be her mom.

Happy Birthday Vivian!

Vivian at her daycare celebration for her birthday. If you couldn't guess by watching, she likes frosting!

Vintage Photo Friday -- The Knitting Lesson

From the George Eastman House Collection
McCall's Magazine, 1940

I wonder whether Vivian will inherit any of my crafty inclinations. Many of my friends who had moms who sewed/knitted/etc. had no desire to learn themselves. They didn't have to—if they wanted something made for them, their mom did it. I hope she is crafty, as I would love for us to have a common interest as she gets older. I also find think there are so many benefits: a creative outlet, a calming influence, a social activity.

She does try to play with my yarn when I'm knitting or crocheting. And she likes to watch me sew, and sometimes picks out a fabric she likes from my stash and running around the apartment with it (her current fav is a cat print that I bought to make her an outfit, but haven't got around to it yet).

Maybe there is hope for her yet.

More of Vintage Photo Friday at Paper Dolls for Boys.

This is Halloween!

Happy Halloween, all you ghosties, ghouls and goblins!

I bring you a photo post...

Boo at the Zoo!



A visit to the pumpkin patch:




I finally got around to carving one of those pumpkins last night:



Stitch n Witch 2008:

Thing 1 and the Fish

A Viking family ready to pillage the Farmer's Market

Spider Granny!

Gnome-mar Garciaparra

Look! It's Bai Ling!

This little cowgirl is ready for some treats now.

Happy Halloween!

Vocab by Viv

MAO = cat
DOGGIE! = dog
BAA = sheep
GACK = duck
MOO = cow
OUTSIDE = I would like to go outside now
DEWEY = my cat Doyle
DEH! = my cat Deano
BABY = my Teddy Bear
DADA = I'm so happy. Please do _________ with me.
MAMA = I'm so tired, in pain, hungry. Please hold me.
DA-TAH! = Ta-da! Look at me!

A V-Day photo post

My Valentine's Day present for Richard:
I embroidered this onesie using a Sublime Stitching pattern given to me at my baby shower by Allison, of supercrafty.com. I think he liked it. He gave me a new watch, which is beautiful and I love. Yay!

Here is Vivian at the Professional Bull Riders event in Anaheim on Sunday. Yes, we went to see young men try to stay on the back of bull that are trying to throw them off. It was really cool.
You can see Viv embracing her inner redneck by chowing down on the latest issue of the PBR Insider. Well, given the start we gave her, I don't see how we could expect anything less.

This is Vivian in her new sweater, the 5-Hour Baby Sweater (not actually made in 5 hours -- more like, Made Over A Weekend While Caring For A 7-Month Old-Sweater):

Oh, and Vivian received her very first Valentine today -- an awesomely cute handmade card from Sam, Annika's beautiful son. I about melted into a puddle when I opened it! Thank you Sammy (Annika!) for making Vivian's (my) day!

Year in Review

2007 has been quite a year. Up and down (more up than down, though, and that's a good thing). This post may be more for me than anyone else, but I want to take this opportunity to take a walk down memory lane, and revisit just how far I've come this year. Think of it as a personal newsletter that I'm too lazy to put in my Christmas card.

I started the year in January by announcing that I was pregnant with Vivian (only named Pumpkin at the time). It was an incredibly emotional time for me -- incredibly happy, yet sad and grieving. At the end of the month, we traveled back up to Tahoe to scatter Eliza's ashes, a cathartic and beautiful experience.

In February, I started making Vivian's Pumpkin quilt (which is still in the unfinished state it was in when she was born, but which I plan to finish after Christmas knitting is finished). And Mark was born! Looking back at those first photos of him, it's hard to remember how small he was to start with! February was also the first time I felt Vivian move -- and it was the most awesome, incredible feeling.

March started Richard's uber-travel schedule, in which he was gone 6 weekends in 7 weeks. I remember that getting really old, really fast, for both of us. We found out Vivian's gender this month, and also gave her her name. Giving Viv her name was very important to us, as it helped us identify with her as an individual person, and begin our relationship.

April was an emotional month for me, as I reached, and finally passed, the 25-week-2-day mark at which I lost Eliza. Once we passed it, I felt this huge weight lifted off of my chest, as I entered into new pregnancy territory. And it was awesome.

May was a fairly light month, emotionally. We attended the Red-neck Wedding party, and it was awesome. We also got to prep more for Vivian, signing up for childbirth, infant care and breast feeding classes (only some of which we actually got to take).

June was certainly an eventful month! We started with my awesome shower, at which we were showered with so many amazing gifts, handmade and otherwise. Towards the end of the month, we had another ultrasound, which showed how big Vivian was getting. We were preparing to welcome her in the middle of July, when she decided she had things to do and people to see. My water broke on Friday morning, June 29, when I was 34 weeks, 2 days pregnant.

July is pretty much an emotional blur. It started with me & Vivian being in the hospital, and then transitioned into Vivian staying in the NICU, which sucked, but we got through. A good thing that also happened, which I never really wrote about, was that our FORMER health insurance company FINALLY agreed to pay my medical bills from when we lost Eliza. I literally had a collection agent calling me on my cell phone while I was doped up on Vicodin in a hospital bed, with Vivian in the NICU, telling me that my bill was now almost a year old. Like I could forget that it had now been a year since Eliza had died. It finally got resolved when my company's insurance broker finally shamed the insurance company to stop stalling and pay the damn bills. We were finally able to bring Vivian home, and while tiring and stressful, it was the most amazing experience of my life.

In August, we took our first trip with Vivian, out to Tucson to see the family. I loved introducing her to my grandmother and stepfather. We also continued the stressful experience of trying to find daycare for Viv - stressful, but with a happy ending, thank goodness.

September was a great month. I finally started to feel comfortable with Vivian's schedule. She finally got the hang of breastfeeding. We took our first plane trip (out to Tucson again) and Viv did awesome, sleeping through most of the two flights and a layover.

October marked the tragic end of my maternity leave and my return to work. Jenny came to visit, and I got my hair cut. I cried on Vivian's first day at daycare, but we both survived. Vivian had her very first visit to the pumpkin patch, and I made a somewhat misguided attempt to take a photo of a baby in a pumpkin. Vivian was not exactly fond of being placed in a wet, slimy gourd. Oh well, live and learn. If she ends up with some horrible phobia of enclosed places, it will be all my fault. Probably only one of many things I'll be guilty of.

In November, we started in on our very first holiday season as a threesome. We shared Friends Thanksgiving and found out that there is a whole new bumper crop of babies expected in the spring! Vivian won't be the youngest baby for very long.

And now we're in December. We've taken Vivian to see Santa, hung the stockings (although not Vivian's yet because I still haven't sewn the lining for hers -- tonight, I promise!). Vivian had her first renal ultrasound since leaving the hospital (her hydronephrosis is improving, although not yet gone completely. We'll do another ultrasound in a few months). We had our first bout of daycare-related sickness (rotavirus), and managed to pass it on to many of our favorite people. The gift that keeps on giving! We leave for Tucson tomorrow in a purple PT Cruiser packed to the gills with clothes, diapers, presents, and unfinished knitting. That was 2007 for us. I can't wait to see what 2008 will bring us.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Blur

I can't believe it's almost December. This month has gone by in a total blur.

First, I have to apologize to my fab Secret Pal Rebecca, who sent me an awesome package for SP11. I received it before Thanksgiving, but have been so crazy that I haven't posted about it. Let me count the ways that it rocked:

1. An adorable outfit for Vivian. So cute!
2. Beautiful Tilli Thomas beaded yarn. I've wanted to try this yarn for a long time, and now I can.
3. Lush purple/white wool blend -- 3 skeins with a lot of yardage -- enough to make a sweater (at least a tank)
4. Gorgeous Artyarns sock kit -- it may be enough to actually entice me to finish a pair of socks
5. 2 skeins of fun & fluffy yarn that will make great edgings for baby outfits
6. A set of circular needles and point protectors
Thank you Rebecca for putting such a great package together!

I have been knitting Christmas gifts (which I can't show), but not frequently enough to get much progress done. Hopefully at SnB tonight I can knuckle down and get one project finished.

Last night, we took our first family portraits. John Dlugolecki, who has been the photographer for my work for more than 20 years (and who also photographed my wedding 5 years ago) took some wonderful photos. I don't want to show them all off yet, as many will end up as gifts and cards, but here are a few that I couldn't resist:
Life is crazy, and with Richard sick and Vivian's first tooth coming in, no one is sleeping very much (maybe that's why life is a blur), but when we have a baby this cute, how can we be anything but ecstatically happy?

Time for me

As a mom, I have discovered just how easy it is to constantly put yourself dead last. I spend so much of my time thinking/worrying about Vivian, that sometimes I just can't care about anyone, or anything, else, much less myself. Vivian is #1, Richard is #2, the cats are (a somewhat distant -- to their dismay) #3, and if I have the energy, I am #4.

But that needs to change (if not the order, then at least the number of times I actually get to #4). I need to take care of myself to take care of my family. What's that annoying t-shirt say? "When Momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy." I won't take on the appalling grammar -- I don't have time. But I do think I need to pay attention to myself a bit, so I can be happy and healthy. Because when I'm not, everyone at home feels the pain.

So, I'm starting by making doctor's appointments. After seeing a doctor every 2 weeks while I was pregnant, it feels a bit weird to not have seen someone for months. So I made an appointment for a physical, a flu shot and an eye exam. I also need to get into a dentist, which I have been putting off for far too long.

The upside for me? Once I get my new eye prescriptions, I can get lenses for my new glasses that I picked up at this weekend's L.A. Eyeworks sale! Thank you Ellen, for reminding me about this yearly event. I scored 3 pairs for $85: a dark green rectangular set, a light peach rectangular set and a fab gold-brown cat's eye pair. Pictures to come.

I'm also getting some knitting done, although no finished objects yet. I am making good progress on my Juliet, although I'm starting to think that the Noro Blossom I'm using, and its color stripes, will take away from the lace pattern. Oh well, too late now. It still looks fabulous, and I know I'll get a lot of use for it this winter.

Christmas is coming up, and I've gotten a late start on crafting, as usual. I have 5 knitting projects on the list, which is probably too many to finish, but I'm going to try anyway. Luckily, I'm not fooling myself that anyone is getting sweaters, and once I'm finished with Juliet (probably my last "me" project until after the holiday), I can cast on for the first.

Even though this post is about me, I couldn't leave without some gratuitous baby photos.

Vivian in her Pumpkin costume for Halloween

Vivian & I in the craziness of Hollywood Blvd. on Halloween (on our way to see The Nightmare Before Christmas in 3-D!)

Good year

Bad blogger. No posts in over a week!

My only excuse is that I'm sick. I've had a nasty head cold for the last few days (luckily, it seems to be starting to go away). But because of it, I haven't felt like doing anything. I have 3 pumpkins that I never carved, a costume that I didn't make, and decorations I never put up. Crap. I love Halloween, but I just had no energy this year.

Last week, I turned 32. I really think this is a good year. 32 just looks better than 31 -- round number, I'm now comfortably in my 30s, rather than just hanging around the edges. The day of my birthday was pretty low key. We went to Pizza Club and Richard had provided everyone with hats and noisemakers for me. Ashley even brought me chocolate cupcakes, which was very nice.

I know, Vivian looks really into the birthday spirit, doesn't she? But she is the best birthday present I could ever ask for.

Over the weekend, we headed up to Fresno for the largest Civil War reenactment west of the Mississippi. I'm a total history geek, so it was perfect for me. I loved seeing all the reenacters and how excited they were to be there. I know that I could totally be one of them -- heck, give me a few years (after Vivian and any siblings are a bit older), and I probably will be!

Vivian was an angel all day. Before the battle, people kept coming up to Rich and saying that he should be careful of Vivian because the cannons were very loud and would probably scare her. So before the battle got underway, he walked to the back of the field. And BOOM! The cannon fire felt like I had been hit in the chest. And Vivian? She slept through the entire thing. Richard kept asking me, "are we sure they tested her hearing in the hospital?" They did. She just wasn't worried about the cannons. She was snuggled in her Bjorn with Daddy -- what could go wrong?

On the crafty front, I have been knitting and crocheting. No Christmas gifts yet, but I'll start those soon. I'm working on my Juliet sweater and I finished a crocheted sweater for Vivian.


Halloween pictures to come. Vivian looks absolutely adorable in her pumpkin costume that my mom made for her. And tomorrow is our WeHo SnB Stitch n Witch party! Come on out and join the fun!

Pumpkin in the Pumpkin Patch

Yesterday, Rich & I took Vivian for her first visit to the Halloween Pumpkin Patch. Ok, so this visit may have been more for us than for her. At 16 weeks old, I'm not sure how much holiday spirit she absorbed. But she is the Pumpkin, so we had to take her for some photos.
And you cannot take a bad photo in a pumpkin patch.

Vivian was very patient, considering that Mommy kept trying to sit her up in and amongst pumpkins and gourds of various sizes. The pumpkin patch is up in Saugus, and the winds were extremely fierce. Vivian actually seemed to enjoy the wind, and I enjoyed the fact that I have short hair, which does not get tangled and messy!


We finally left when Vivian seemed she had had enough, and not a moment too soon.
The sky behind Rich & Viv isn't brown with the usual LA smog -- that's smoke. The Agua Dulce fire started while we were there, and now the road we took to the pumpkin patch is closed because of it.

When we got home, we headed over to the park to take some pictures of Vivian with her pumpkins, including some of her in the pumpkins.
She was only mildly amused. We only got a couple of good pictures of her in the pumpkin before she started to protest. But we continued to snap away, and took some adorable ones of her next to the pumpkins.

And finally, as the sun went down, I put the camera away. Vivian was very happy about that.

dream a little dream while dreaming

Last night, I dreamed some weird dreams. The best one was so realistic, it was hard to believe it was a dream. I heard Vivian crying from her co-sleeper, so I picked her up and realized she must be hungry. I took her out to the living room, and sat down on the couch and started breastfeeding. I realized she was sucking, but not swallowing, so I took her off, and she spit up all over herself. She started laughing, like this was the funniest thing in the world, and that made me laugh, too. It just felt awesome. And then I woke up, and told Richard about my dream. He said I must have been dreaming about Vivian eating because we had been talking about breastfeeding.

And then I really woke up.

I dreamed a dream within a dream. And it was wonderful.

Transitions

Today is the day I have been anticipating, dreading, looking forward to since I got pregnant. 25 weeks, 2 days. Last year, on July 4, I was 25 weeks, 2 days pregnant with Eliza. And I lost her. It was the worst day of my life. But this year, on April 27, I am 25 weeks, 2 days pregnant with Vivian. And she's doing great. She's big and strong and active. I'm on medication, and my blood pressure is behaving. There is no sign of the horrible swelling that I had last year. I have energy, and am sleeping pretty well. At this point, there isn't much more I could ask for.

We had our ultrasound on Wednesday, which was a huge relief for me. The doctor was very thorough, and looked hard at the blood flow through the umbilical cord, which looked good. He thinks that Vivian is actually big for her gestational age, already 1 lb., 15 oz. For comparisons sake, Eliza was only 1 lb., 2 oz. when she was born. So Viv is growing big and strong. All of her measurements are in the 80-95th percentile (except for her legs, only 54th percentile. Well, looking at her family, I guess it makes sense that she'd be big all over, but with short, stumpy legs).

And tomorrow starts a new phase, one that I'm really looking forward to. Our next milestone is 28 weeks, when, if something happened, and Viv needed to be born early, she'd have a pretty good chance, not only of surviving, but of surviving without major health issues. We'll have another ultrasound then, and another chance to see how Viv is doing.

We're in a good place, and I'm excited to move forward.

Baby Vivian is flexible!

Donuts & Babies & Crafts, Oh My!

Richard was gone again this weekend, this time to Portland. It's the second to the last trip this spring, so I'm starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. And he did get on a early flight yesterday, so we actually got a real weekend night together, which was nice. After a very large dinner at the Brite Spot, we came home to a fantastic, if odd, dessert.

I bring you, a Voodoo Donut special, direct from Portland, OR, the Bacon Maple Bar.
Sooo goooood. I first got excited about this donut after watching Anthony Bourdain's No Reservations, Pacific Northwest special. I know it sounds awful, but, as Richard said, "it tastes like breakfast." It's like pancakes and bacon, when your bacon slides into your syrup. Magnificent. I was almost afraid to eat it, but I'm so glad I did.

On babies (or rather, baby), Vivian is more active than ever. On Saturday night, after a lovely warm bath, I was lounging on the couch in my bathrobe, when I started to feel her kick. I looked down at my stomach, and my robe... jumped. I was in shock. I opened my robe to look at my belly, and again, it jumped. Vivian is officially kicking so hard that she can be seen (and felt) from the outside. I was so excited, I called Richard just to tell him. I think that for the rest of the evening, I just sat and watched my tummy dance.

Of course, on Sunday, when Richard came home, Vivian was much calmer, and not jumping around like a latter-day David Lee Roth. He really wanted to feel her, and she was just not cooperating. But about 1/2 hour after the Bacon-Maple Bar, she started twitching. I called him from the spare room where he was throwing darts, and told him to put his hand on my stomach. Sure enough, about 30 seconds later, she let loose a couple of karate chops. The look that came over Richard's face was amazing. I almost started to cry, I was so happy.

Vivian's dancing made me so happy, that I actually broke out the crochet hook, which I haven't done in several months. After digging through my stash, I decided to crochet the Princess sweater from Candi Jensen's Candy Babies in chocolate brown with baby blue accents. I finished it yesterday.

So yay for Baby Viv! And yay for Voodoo Donuts! And yay for my craftiness coming back!

and the color of the pumpkin is...

Pink!

Pumpkin is officially a girl, no doubt about it. She is also extremely active, to the point that the tech, who sees hundreds of babies, commented on how squirmy she was. Pumpkin is very nearly perfect. She's growing well, and the only thing the doctor wants to watch is her kidneys (he says that due to the fact that some of the valves aren't fully formed, she's having some reflux. But in 85% of babies with this condition, the issue corrects itself before birth, so it's just something to watch for now).

Pumpkin also officially has a name, Vivian Bliss Manfredi. Baby Viv's middle name is the same as my grandfather's, just as Eliza's middle name was Pearl, after Rich's grandmother.

Rich & I are both thrilled to see how well Pumpkin is growing, and can't wait to meet her this summer.

Stuff & Nonsense

Absolutely no rhyme or reason to this post, just an update so you (my faithful readers) don't assume I have fallen into the abyss.

The Awesome Helicopter Ninja Fanclub is officially open for business. You know you want to.

Progress on Pumpkin's quilt is coming along.
Deano has decided that, since Pumpkin isn't here yet, he might as well break it in. The appliques are all sewn on, so now the actual quilting can begin, except that I seem to have misplaced the fabric I cut for the backing. So it's back to the fabric store I go.

Progress on Pumpkin is coming along, too. I'm almost 20 weeks along, and on Wednesday morning, we get to have another ultrasound and hopefully get a gender confirmation. I'm excited, but there is a kernel of fear, too. I just have to concentrate on all the kicks Pumpkin is giving me to keep me upbeat.

Baby dances

Now, for people trying to get pregnant, the term "baby dance" refers to intercourse. This post is not about that. Sorry.

This post is about the little dance that my Pumpkin baby is doing in my uterus. Which I can now feel, and which is wonderful. I first felt a definite poke behind my belly button last week, while I was sitting at my computer. I'm almost 17 weeks along (as of tomrrow) and feeling Pumpkin move just made her all the more real. Feeling a baby move inside of you is a very surreal experience -- it's moving completely independent of you, and the fact that you are carrying a separate human being inside of you becomes a concrete fact.

I'm very excited that I've felt Pumpkin so early. With Eliza, I didn't feel anything (or at least didn't realize that I was feeling anything) until 20 weeks. So I feel like I have an extra 4 weeks with Pumpkin that I didn't have with Eliza. I'm treasuring every day.

I'm trying not to think about the fact that I'm only 8 weeks away from the stage when I lost Eliza. I'm trying to just enjoy every day, which is easier now that I can feel Pumpkin. I'm really only looking ahead a few weeks -- it just makes it easier to set minor milestones, instead of looking months ahead. The next three weeks should be golden. A diagnosis of preeclampsia very rarely comes before 20 weeks, so I feel like I have a grace period. And on March 21, we have another ultrasound, and we'll get another look at Pumpkin, and hopefully be able to definitively tell which gender she is (the doctor said last month that he *thinks* Pumpkin is a girl, but couldn't promise).

So, for now, I have a dancing baby in my uterus, and I am absolutely thrilled.

World, meet Pumpkin

Pumpkin, meet the world.

I've been a bit quiet over here in Handy Craft-land, but for a good reason, and I guess it's time to be open & upfront. I am very happy to be expecting the birth of my very own pumpkin-baby this summer! I'm officially 10 weeks along today, and am feeling pretty good. Well, that's a qualified "pretty good," with a good helping of anxiety, confusion, sadness, and a bit of morning sickness, to boot. I've been somewhat reluctant to talk about this pregnancy because I've been afraid to jinx it -- like if I talk about how happy I am, it will all be taken away from me. It's irrational, but it's an awfully hard feeling to fight when you've already been through the worst once and are petrified to go through it again.

After Eliza died, I could think of nothing else but getting pregnant again. Not because I wanted to "replace" her, but because I was ready to have a healthy, happy baby, and that opportunity was stolen from me. It's incredibly important for Richard and I that people don't think that because I'm pregnant again, that we're "over" our grief. If there is one thing I've learned, it's that you never "get over" the death of a child or the loss of a pregnancy. You just learn to live with the pain. And that's what we're doing, living with the pain, and having the courage and faith to hope that we'll have a better outcome this time.

Rich & I decided early that this baby needed a name, and he picked "Pumpkin," which I love. Pumpkin is officially due on August 8, but given my history, I'm just thinking sometime this summer. I am receiving very good medical care from a great OB. I have an appointment with a perinatologist (doctor who specializes in high-risk pregnancies) in 2 weeks, and I'm also still seeing a therapist who is helping me deal with the anxiety and conflicting emotions.
We are incredibly happy to have been given another chance to have a baby, a happy, healthy baby. I'm trying to take it all one day at a time, and not project too far ahead, but sometimes it's hard. But I guess that's why I finally decided to introduce Pumpkin to the world, to share our joy and to ask for support. I think we're going to need it.