Stuff & Nonsense

Absolutely no rhyme or reason to this post, just an update so you (my faithful readers) don't assume I have fallen into the abyss.

The Awesome Helicopter Ninja Fanclub is officially open for business. You know you want to.

Progress on Pumpkin's quilt is coming along.
Deano has decided that, since Pumpkin isn't here yet, he might as well break it in. The appliques are all sewn on, so now the actual quilting can begin, except that I seem to have misplaced the fabric I cut for the backing. So it's back to the fabric store I go.

Progress on Pumpkin is coming along, too. I'm almost 20 weeks along, and on Wednesday morning, we get to have another ultrasound and hopefully get a gender confirmation. I'm excited, but there is a kernel of fear, too. I just have to concentrate on all the kicks Pumpkin is giving me to keep me upbeat.

On My Own

Ok, not really on my own, Richard is still around. He's just traveling like a rabid gypsy for the next month or so. Here's his schedule:
March 2-3: Ogden, UT
March 10-13: Austin, TX
March 23-25: Memphis, TN
March 30-April 1: St. Louis, MO
April 6-8: Portland, OR
April 15-19: Las Vegas, NV

This is not normal. But he's trying to get all his business travel over before July, when we'll hopefully be a bit busy.

So I'm on my own, at least for many weekends. But even then, not really. I'm keeping busy seeing friends and being social (what a shock). This Monday, Julia & I will be seeing a live performance of This American Life, complete with a sneak preview of the TAL tv show, which begins airing later this month on Showtime (I knew I paid for those premium channels for a reason). Next weekend, we'll get to see Mel, Grant & baby Mark, when they drive down from the Bay. And the 31st-1st, my lovely friends Carrie & Christa are coming down for a visit. So luckily, my friends are keeping from a life of self-imposed hermitude.

And speaking of getting out of the house, I went back to prenatal yoga on Saturday. My back had been killing me, and walking really wasn't helping, so I needed a safe exercise opportunity that would help me feel better. However, I hadn't been back to my studio since we lost Eliza, and I was very apprehensive. Overall, it was a good experience, and the exercise felt great. I did have a minor panic attack as I walked into the class -- I actually had to walk out and sit down on a bench and do some deep breathing to calm myself down. And it was hard, being around 15 happy, very pregnant women who are so confident that their bodies know what to do in regards to their baby. Even the teacher was 39 weeks pregnant! Hearing everyone chatting about their doulas, and how they are just ready for their pregnancy to be over was just a touch bittersweet. I couldn't help but think, "be careful what you wish for." I know I'm just in a different emotional place because I can't trust that my body knows what to do.

But on the positive side, I'm feeling good, and Pumpkin is kicking away. I have my 20 week ultrasound in 2 weeks, and I'm excited about that. I'm just trying to appreciate every day, every kick, and every opportunity I have to bond with this baby. Yay Pumpkin!

Too cool for school

In case you did not know, I have a very cool husband. Strange, weird, and some might even say off-putting, but definitely cool. And it's officially not just me who thinks so.

Someone not related to either Richard or I actually auctioned off a kickball t-shirt autographed by Richard. And there were several bids. I'm not at all kidding. And someone is actually going to pay $10.50 for the privilege of owning said autograph. Apparently, my husband, he's a star.

And soon, you too could have the privilege of owning your own Richard Manfredi autograph, just by joining the official Awesome Helicopter Ninja Fanclub, the Army of Awesomeness. You know you want to join.

Baby dances

Now, for people trying to get pregnant, the term "baby dance" refers to intercourse. This post is not about that. Sorry.

This post is about the little dance that my Pumpkin baby is doing in my uterus. Which I can now feel, and which is wonderful. I first felt a definite poke behind my belly button last week, while I was sitting at my computer. I'm almost 17 weeks along (as of tomrrow) and feeling Pumpkin move just made her all the more real. Feeling a baby move inside of you is a very surreal experience -- it's moving completely independent of you, and the fact that you are carrying a separate human being inside of you becomes a concrete fact.

I'm very excited that I've felt Pumpkin so early. With Eliza, I didn't feel anything (or at least didn't realize that I was feeling anything) until 20 weeks. So I feel like I have an extra 4 weeks with Pumpkin that I didn't have with Eliza. I'm treasuring every day.

I'm trying not to think about the fact that I'm only 8 weeks away from the stage when I lost Eliza. I'm trying to just enjoy every day, which is easier now that I can feel Pumpkin. I'm really only looking ahead a few weeks -- it just makes it easier to set minor milestones, instead of looking months ahead. The next three weeks should be golden. A diagnosis of preeclampsia very rarely comes before 20 weeks, so I feel like I have a grace period. And on March 21, we have another ultrasound, and we'll get another look at Pumpkin, and hopefully be able to definitively tell which gender she is (the doctor said last month that he *thinks* Pumpkin is a girl, but couldn't promise).

So, for now, I have a dancing baby in my uterus, and I am absolutely thrilled.