as god is my witness, I'll never go sleepless again (until tomorrow)

Being sick, teething, entering the "terrible twos" (at 14 months, a bit early I think) - sometimes it's hard being Vivian. She's been fighting a cold for the last week, and there really is nothing sadder than a baby who just wants to nurse, but can't get more than a suck or two because she can't breathe through her nose. She gets so frustrated (because really, wouldn't you?) and then the tantrums start.

And oh, the tantrums.

Vivian has quite a set of lungs on her. She does not have a high-pitched scream. Oh no. When she gets worked up, she lets loose a throaty, loud and wild wail. Oh my god.

Sunday, Viv developed a fever. Not too high, say 101 degrees, but no one feels good when they have a fever. Fortunately, after she's had a dose of Tylenol, she cools down into her laid-back, happy-go-lucky self. I actually felt kind of bad that I couldn't take her somewhere like the park where she could have fun, because I didn't want to expose other kids to whatever Viv had.

Monday, Viv woke up still warm with a low-grade fever (100 degrees). We probably could have given her Tylenol and sent her to daycare, but if her fever came back after the medicine wore off, we would have had to pick her up and keep her out of daycare today. So instead, I stayed home for the morning while Richard went to work, and then he came home after lunch so I could head in to the office. Vivian seemed to be feeling fine, but the flip side of this feeling good was that she would not nap. She took one 40-minute catnap around 10:45 a.m. and then nothing for the rest of the day. This napless situation did not bode well for me. When I got home a little after 6 p.m., Rich took off for kickball. I hoped that Vivian would fall asleep while nursing, but no suck luck. She just popped up, with eyes that were just a little too bright and had a look that said "OK, now let's go PLAY!"

Everything seemed to be actually fine until it was time for bed. Between 8:30 and 9:15 p.m., I made 3 attempts to put her to bed. I was really hoping for no confrontation, but after the 2nd time she slipped out of my arms to run around like a mad woman, I had to put her in her crib crying for Daddy ("Daddadaddadaddadadda!") and wailing loudly enough I had to close the windows so as not to get the cops called on me.

She woke up again at 12:30 a.m. and would not go back to sleep by herself. I had to go back in and nurse her to sleep (and then stand next to the crib until she finally went back down). At 2 a.m., she woke up screaming again, and Richard brought her into our bed. At 3 a.m., she woke up again, and could not be soothed. No fever, but my only guess was teething pain (she's been clutching her mouth a lot). We gave her some Tylenol, but by that time, Vivian was awake, and did not want to go back to sleep. We tried for over an hour to calm her down before I gave up and put her back in her crib as she again cried for Daddy. Richard had never heard her do that before, and it just tore him up inside. She fell asleep (or I fell asleep to her cries - I honestly don't know) and stayed asleep until 8 a.m.

It should then come as no surprise that I look like hell this morning. I don't want to preemptively drug my child with Tylenol just so I can get some shut-eye, but oh god, I need to do something. I know this is just a phase, because we've gone through them before, and come out the other side where she sleeps for 6-8 hours in her crib peacefully, and settles down easily. I can't wait until we get there again.

Until then, excuse me while I catch a nap in my car.