Insomnia sucks. Tylenol PM, which has been such a friend to me in past experiences, is letting me down. Tuesday night, it seemed to help, but not last night. I finally fell asleep sometime around 2:30 a.m., and the Deano decided to start whining loudly in our bedroom around 5:00 a.m. I fell back asleep until the alarm went off at 7:30. I know some people have a hard time staying asleep, but that's not the biggest issue for me (Deano not withstanding). For me, it's the difficulty in getting to sleep that is driving me slowly insane.

Other than the insomnia, I'm doing pretty well. I'm heading up to San Jose tomorrow to see my old dance studio's recital. My friends Carrie, Christa & Allison still teach there, and since I didn't get to see much of them in Tahoe (especially since Carrie didn't go), and I have a free weekend, I decided to head up there. While there, I'll check out the Fiberarts Market (sponsored by TKGA and CGOA) in Oakland. My sister Jenny is going to be working the show for the Stitch Diva, whom she knows through the store she works at. Not that I need more yarn, but Lisa Souza Knits is going to be there, and I love the yarn I bought from her at the last shows, and I need more if I'm going to actually make the hippy-inspired cardigan.

Also, this weekend I will be able to give Allison & Iggy the Pretty Princess cardigan for Miss Margaret Allison. The colors (especially the green) aren't exactly true in the photo, but you get the idea. I've knit & crocheted blankets before and I've sewn baby clothes, but this is my first crocheted baby wear item.

My second baby wear item, the knit sweater from Rebecca, I ripped out. It just wasn't thrilling me anymore -- not because of the pattern, but because of the yarn I was using. I'm trying to go through stash yarn, and the combo I was using just wasn't working. So, instead of going to bed at a decent hour, I decided to work on the "denim" vest pattern from "Candy Babies." I'm using a cotton chenille in yellow, beige, brown & green that I made a lacy tank top from, and I have a beige fluffy GGH yarn ( I can't remember which one) for the edging. The color combo is turning out kind of camoflage-ish, so this vest will be for the baby of Rich's best friend, Stephen, who is expecting a boy (well, his wife is expecting... you know what I mean).

Got to run into a meeting now.

hungry, hungry hippo

I am feeling pretty much like a blob lately. I'm getting next to no exercise lately and I know it is affecting my mood and energy levels (although the ongoing lack of sleep isn't exactly helping). I stated at SnB last week that I was going to start walking to and from work (2 miles each way), but I haven't managed it yet. I'll try it tomorrow -- if I'm in agony, I can always walk to a bus stop. But I feel so fat & lazy when I drive to work -- it's barely enough time to listen to one whole news story on NPR, and I don't need my car during the day (for the most part) so it's kind of pointless to drive every day. My goal is to consistently walk to and from work twice a week. I'm also planning on signing up for kickball again for the fall season, although I'm not sure if that really counts as exercise. It' s got the same pacing as softball, i.e. a lot of waiting around and then some frenzied running & throwing.

Not a lot of crafty stuff was done over the weekend, since it was the release of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. 652 pages, I think? Let's see, it arrived at 6:00 p.m. on Saturday evening and I finished at 3:00 a.m. Sunday morning. And now we have to wait at least 2 more years for the final installment.

I am working on a knit baby sweater from the most recent baby issue of Rebecca magazine. This is a baby stuff summer. Obviously, there is little Miss Margaret Allison, and there is the currently gender unknown Reng baby, and there is Rich's best friend, Stephen and his wife Lee's (as yet unnamed) boy all due this summer/fall (November, August & September, respectively). Rich has chosen the "denim" jacket from the Candy Babies crochet book as the project we should make for Stephen & Lee's baby, so I need to get cracking on that. No rest for the people whose friends are now beginning to breed!

can't sleep. clowns will eat me.

I think I need a good long sleep. I'm starting to feel this depression (about money, job, etc.) creep into my head like it seems to do every 3 or 4 months and I think I need a good sleep to wake up with some positive feelings.

I've been staying up way too late. Normally, I'm in bed by 12:30 (late, I know) and I wake up around 8 a.m. to get to work by 9 a.m. This week, I've been staying up until 1:30 - 2:00 a.m. every night, even when I know I need sleep. Wednesday was the worst. I stayed up until almost 2 a.m., went to bed and couldn't fall asleep until almost 4 a.m. Rich had to have a sleep observation study that night (possible sleep apnea) at Cedars, so he was gone, but he came home at about 5:45 a.m. He had to call and wake me up to get in because I had locked the deadbolt and for some reason, he doesn't have a key to the deadbolt (never mind that we've lived in this apartment for 8 years). I fell back asleep and woke up around 8:30.

Whenever I get stressed or depressed, I get insomnia. It's the worst thing in the world, especially after a few days. I explain it to people that it's like my brain is having a conversation with itself and it won't shut up, even when I want it to. I think about knitting patterns, work, puzzles, just about anything that you don't want to be thinking about at 3 a.m.

But this lack of sleep has contributed to a lot of crocheting. Last night I finished the Pretty Princess sweater. I have pictures, but I haven't downloaded them yet. It turned out even cuter than I had hoped for. The body is a hot pink cotton, and the blanket stitch edge is a bright green. The blanket stitch has an interesting story because I had finished the stitch all around the edges and the cuffs before I realized I was using the wrong yarn. It was 1 a.m. on Wednesday night and I couldn't figure out why the green yarn looked so yellow. Well, I was accidentally using the yarn for the Japanese sunburst tank, which is a greenish gold (think 70's Harvest Gold). It looked awful against the pink. So I had to cut it out and redo it. Hence the staying up until 2:00 a.m. Last night I added crocheted ties to the front and a white crochet flower to the lapel. I promise pictures on Monday.

And, because I'm psycho, I started another baby sweater last night. At least little Miss Margaret Allison is giving me a reason to go through my stash. And she's giving me something to do while I'm not sleeping.

money makes the world go 'round

money comes in, it goes out. Unfortunately, it seems to be going out faster now than it comes in. $250 for Deano's latest vet bill. $100 last night for groceries (what the heck did I buy? I mean, I know we had steak last night for dinner, but come on...). $620 for airplane tickets to Seattle for a wedding in 2 weeks. $600 for the lodge in Tahoe over the 4th. We want to go back to New Mexico for vacation in October, so that's at least $500 in airfare.

Oh, and Richard is finally getting some medical issues looked at (which is a good thing), but his crap-ass insurance coverage means we'll be out a few thousand dollars. The future doesn't seem any brighter than the present.

And both our cars have more than 130,000 miles on them, so we should be looking at new (new to us, at least) vehicles. And, we really want to be able to buy a house/condo/refridgerator box within the next couple of years, so we need to save at least $10,000 to cover closing costs (I know more would be better, but $10,000 seems impossible already). And we need to make considerably more money to afford the $2,300 a month mortgage/PMI/HOA. And we're also planning on starting a family within the next two years, and god know that babies aren't cheap. And did I mention that I'd like to not have to work full-time once we have kids? Yeah. And, one more thing, we want to go to London next year for vacation, since that is one of Rich's "Have to Go Before I Die" places and we'd rather do it without kids. And the weak dollar isn't exactly helping our bargain shopping (thanks for nothing, Bush).

It's all a bit overwhelming. We need to make some sacrifices if we're going to be able to pull all of these things off, but neither Rich or I are very big on giving things up. I want to enjoy my life. I insist on multiple vacations every year so that I don't burn out (anymore than I already have). I'd rather use Noro than TLC. Now I don't mind buying my Noro from eBay, but I still want Noro.

Maybe I need to borrow Crazy Aunt Purl's budget worksheet. This is definitely no fun.